December 3, 2010

Always Remember - Flash Fiction Friday

(Source: "Always Remember Your First" - Mick Payton)

The fierceness of the attack took me by surprise. Who was behind me?

He yanked my blouse down off my shoulders; I struggled to push it back up. His arms were around me, unbuckling my belt and shoving my jeans down; I was losing the battle.

His urgency had me off balance. "No! Stop, please!" no reaction. He growled, "It's me, Luke," and he continued. "Stop! God! Oh Please!" I yelled, still he persisted. He hooked his chin over my shoulder, trying to contain and still me. His unshaven stubble was scratchy and roughened the skin of my neck.

I felt the cold hard pressure of his belt buckle, alongside his hot hard persistence.

Suddenly he pushed me forward over some bales of hay, pulled my panties aside, and continued.

(Using this picture, write a flash fiction of between 111-149 words, exactly between
is 130 words; and incorporating the phrase "...scratchy and roughened...")


14 comments:

  1. Yeah I agreee with the Tempting one, more please...

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  2. "His hot hard persistence" is a great phrase. I'm not sure whether I approve of the actions of the man in the piece, but it's very well expressed and makes me a bit dewy whether I do or not. Perhaps that's the point. Anyway, it captures an aspect of the picture quite well.

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  3. Ah, good, I was hoping somebody would use "scratchy and roughened" for his stubble instead of using the barn door. Urgent, this one, though a bit too cavalier about her demurrals. Still, nice piece. Thanks for joining in this week.

    -- PB

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  4. Sweets & Drench - but I ran out of words!!

    Lexi - well, the actions of the man were not to be approved of, but interesting that it got dewy - I think fear and violence can feed a certain animal appeal.

    Panser - but wouldn't a man be cavalier about her demurrals when he is forcing her "against her will". I place that in quote simply to acknowledge the potential for consensual non-consent.

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  5. The coupling does seem to be, at first, not-so-mutually desired. Still, the writer merely describes what happened without judgment. Was she eventually persuaded? Maybe. Is the scene hot? Absolutely. Fantastic job.

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  6. OL - thank you, yes, leaving it up in the air is often more interesting than an explicit result.

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  7. oh, delightful! i really liked your use of the required phrase, and the tautness of "consensual non-consent" within the framework of the word limit.

    a very erotic story.

    nilla

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  8. You are very good at these flashes of fiction David. This one is a master,writing from the womans viewpoint, will you finish it please. These few words have me a little hot and bothered.

    Lx

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  9. I like the forcefulness of the writing. Nice job!

    Thanks for stopping by my FFF. :)

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  10. Why when she said "no, no, no," was I hearing "yes, yes, yes@" ? Forceful, but not overdone. Very nice.

    Rozewolf

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  11. Again, thank you all.

    I think that is one of the opportunities of length limited writing, you can either write a small "complete" story, or write a story that leaves the reader wondering, or imagining their own ending.

    I appreciate the kind words, and acceptance.

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