July 4, 2010

Take You For a Ride in My Car-Car

Driving home from work on Friday, I was reminded of how much I love to drive a car, I always have. (I even participated in amateur auto racing several years back.) As I drove along, I noticed how comfortable I was, settled in my seat, feet on the pedals, holding the steering wheel, strapped in place by the belts, operating the controls, enjoying the whole process. Fully engaged in observing the activities around me, maneuvering in traffic, adjusting, compensating, making allowances for the vagaries of others, ready to adapt to situations that might arise.

And then I got to thinking about being in a car, going somewhere, and realized, I am always the driver, never the passenger. I have made various excuses for it over the years, even to the point of offering to drive when it was not completely practical, or there may have been advantage to letting another drive. One of the associated pleasures or related tasks is always to be sure there is a well preplanned trip, virtually always knowing where I am going, how best to get there and alternatives along the way should unforeseen events disrupt the adventure.

Another aspect of this is perhaps some old fashioned chauvinism from my upbringing. I can probably count on one hand the number of times I have been a passenger in a car when a woman was driving, or anyone for that matter. It has nothing to do with an attitude about women drivers because, again when racing several years ago, some of my fiercest and most effective competition were female drivers. I think it is simply part of my make up, perhaps along with other old fashioned notions. She once wrote a story that started out thus:

"My first clue that something was amiss was him handing me the car keys and coming around to open the door for me. He never lets me drive, 'Driving is a man's responsibility, ladies should ride and relax', I had heard many times before. After I was seated in the car . . . he offered me the buckle for my seat belt, which I pulled across and clicked into place."

When I am taking a girl somewhere, I always open the passengers door, making sure she is settled, comfortable, and fully ready before closing the door, and going around and getting into the drivers seat. Once settled into the car, I again check to be sure she is buckled in, comfortable, the seat is adjusted to her comfort and convenience, that all is well and we are both ready to get underway.

One additional thing I have noticed, and have had pointed out to me, particularly when I am driving with enthusiasm and vigor, since I have a hold of the steering wheel and obviously am aware of where and when I will be accelerating, braking, turning and making other tactical moves, I am in greater control of my experience in the car. It has been pointed out to me that the passenger, who has simply the seat under them and the seat belt around them, has less connection with the vehicle. They are not privy to the movements or actions I might be taking at any time. In other words, the passenger is usually slightly off balance, and more affected by my whim.

Additionally, there is most always an agenda when traveling in a car, going somewhere, an intention, a plan, something to be done, and again, the passenger is not usually aware of the full scope of what is planned or intended.

It occurs to me as I have thought this through, and written it out, it is clearly not just about driving a car, is it?


  1. Indeed, this post is certainly not about driving ..or perhaps, not about driving cars~~!

    I have never enjoyed driving..interesting post!

  2. In our world, the driving shifts from person to person. Part of that is driven by the legalities of who is insured on which vehicles. Various ones of us have cars which are nominally "ours," and so the person who has that sense of ownership will most often drive. When it is just He and I, I am most often the passsenger, although we find that difficult because I have deafness on my left side, and riding in the passenger seat makes conversation more challenging. Still, He is more comfortable in the driver's seat -- always. As another bit of car related trivia, when He is th passenger, I will most often assist Him into the car and make sure His door is closed before getting in myself. That has developed between us as His arthritic shoulder has grown increasingly more painful.


  3. My husband is the driver. He has to be totally exhausted to offer me the driving seat, or, when I drop him off in the city, after we have been to the market. It is a short trip but I'm offered a *great* deal of advice as to how to drive in that short time (which, of course, I appreciate!).

    Whilst we were on holiday, I was the navigator. It seems I did a fairly reasonable job of that.
    I only 'lost it' once when he was telling me off about not knowing which blasted little lane to take in the French countryside, but interestingly the madder I got, the more he laughed.

    Ohhhhhh, it is about soooooo much more than driving.

  4. David sir, let me think... what things can one "drive"?

    Forgetting all vehicles for a while, my thoughts go to: friendship, relationship, life with a woman...


  5. As the passenger in the car, you get to enjoy 'scenery' you missed as the driver!!

    I came upon your writings from 'clicking' on Solipsubmissive - someone's blog I use to read & commented.

    I guess I have a leaning toward being 'submissive' and met someone from AOL whom could satisfy my yearnings! Eric is his name and he's from Nyc - my favorite place to visit!! We met August 3, 2008 and we ended our online friendship April, 2010; we disagreed 'politically' he's a classic liberal & Im a frugal conservative!!

    Ive saved your 'sensual' blog to my favorites!

  6. You touched a chord in me with the title. I have a recording of Peter, Paul and Mary singing a song by that name. "Take me for a ride in your Mack truck, Mack."


  7. great analogy, David. I've "come out" recently on my blog about being sub to 2 Doms, and a Domme to D2's sub. He (D2-this is confusing) uses the car metaphor often when we are doing a scene. We are usually on the phone and if i forget something, overstep myself, i'm firmly reminded to "keep your hands off the *** steeringwheel, nilla....I am Driving".

    in my vanilla life, as a lesbian in a non D/s situation...i *am* the driver. Like you, i have inherent knowledge of where i'm going, and attention to the details of driving...responses of other drivers etc that is of a higher caliber than my wife's.

    And in as subtle a way as that there are times that i do "rule the roost"..not often but it's there and i can more clearly see that as i sit back in my seat, and buckle my seatbelt!


  8. There certainly is an analogy between the car and other kinds of driving. I also find it an interesting venue for ideas of semi-public play, while maintaining reasonable privacy if need be, as well as "entrapment and containment".
    Hermione, I am very familiar with the P,P&M song and it was in my mind as I played the words to name post, and it is something I have been known to say as well.
    And I really do have the attitude that driving is a man's responsibility.