I came across Marie in a chat room. As we talked she told me she recently had a sexual encounter with a man that troubled her; partially because it was uninvited but much more so because of how she reacted and how she felt, both at the time and her desires ever since. She went on to explain.
About 4 months before, she had been camping with family friends, and had gotten up to go to pee just before getting into her sleeping bag for the night. It was a public campground and so had permanent, plumbed bathrooms. When she came out of the stall, there was a man there. He told her to go stand facing the wall and to put her hands against the wall. He then proceeded to reach up under her t-shirt and fondled her breasts and nipples while he took himself out and slowly stroked. She looked over to see what he was doing and he told her to keep looking straight ahead at the wall. After some time, he moved his hand down across her tummy and then slid it into the waist band of her shorts, and inside her panties and proceeded to finger her. She said she was embarrassed by how wet she got, standing there with a stranger's hand in her panties, not moving in any way to object, breathing heavier and heavier.
He then told her to get down on her knees and lean forward over the end of the bench. He knelt down behind her, and pulled down short/panties, and remarked repeatedly how wet she was, as he entered her from behind. After a while he came in her, got up and left. As he was leaving he told her to stay there over the bench until he was gone. After he left she reached down and fingered herself to an orgasm, still there bending over the bench. She then cleaned her self up, got her clothes all back in place, and went back and got into her sleeping bag, and went to sleep.
During that entire time no one came in, she never thought to cry out, she never protested, and said the main thought in her mind was that she hoped no one would come in and see what she was letting him do. A complete stranger, an older man, having his way with her in a campground bathroom, in the middle of the night; fondling her breasts and nipples, fingering her, taking her from behind.
That first chat room "meeting" with Marie was just over two years ago, and we have continued to talk regularly ever since. We have spent a lot of time discussing that rape, and how it led to or fostered her feelings of submissiveness, or if there was really any connection between the two at all. Sometimes we talk a couple times a day, and there are times when we do not talk for weeks. But, I am always there for her, and she always seeks my counsel about changes in her life.
She was very confused by her behavior during that whole event, and by her feelings toward men afterwards. She had noticed men who looked at her "that way", dominant men who recognize that look about her, the way she responds to their gaze, transfixed. These are not just horny men looking at a pretty girl; it is like they know what kind of girl she is. She had noticed them some before that camping trip, and was noticing them much more now, in the few months after. She has come to recognize and enjoy her submissive nature, but still is conflicted at times because that slut in her is so vastly different from how she acts in her day to day life.
Does the recognition of submissiveness come from early stirrings, or meeting a dominant man and a relationship is formed that is mutually agreeable, or someone courts you and draws you out? Or, does submission sometimes flash upon you in the face out of some kind of adversity? How did you come to recognize your submissive nature?
