Becca on D/s

Becca is a young college girl who started a conversation with me about an early experience she had with an older man who touched her and gotten very familiar with her. Over time and discussions, it turned out that she had not been molested as she said, it has been a rouse to start a conversation. As we talked over time she asked about my screen name, DSinVegas. I told her that it was a reference to Dominance and submission. I asked her to write me a little essay about what Dominance and submission meant to her.

Dominance and submission were only words to me prior to meeting my on-line friend David. Although now that I have a limited sense of what they mean, I recognize that I have had those types of thoughts for some time.

My thoughts in the past have often involved a submissive aspect I suppose. I remember, so many years ago, when I first began to masturbate, about age 12, even then that I would put myself in imaginary situations. Ones over which I had no control. Ones in which I imagined being told to take off my clothes by some make-believe bad man. A man who wanted to see what I looked like. I imagined having to completely undress. Which I knew even at that age was a naughty thing. In bed in my darkened room I imagined the embarrassment of having to do so. It was make believe so I was really not scared, but imagined being scared. Like a kidnapped girl would be, totally helpless. Required to do as he said or I might never be let go. Yet there was a very excited feeling that came over me as I imagined undressing in front of him. Watching as he looked at my developing body. As I did so, I would rub and touch myself. Further imagining the man was watching me play. Ordering me not to stop touching. I thought of the embarrassment of being in that situation. The fear a girl my age would feel. But yet the excitement of this imaginary situation caused me to have my first orgasms.

My recent visit to Lover's Lane (an adult toy store), and seeing the ankle and wrist bands, realizing how they're intended to be used, only fed fuel to the fire in my imagination. I was further able to imagine the embarrassment and helplessness one would feel being naked and tied down. Not able to cover up. Not able to even close one's legs together to hide one's most private parts. Last night I imagined my self being submissive, tied naked to a table, legs and arms pulled tight in four different directions. Embarrassed to be in that situation, yet excited at the thought.

Deviance - C M N F

A frequent theme on submissive blogs is objectification and exhibitionism, two somewhat related activities. An interesting manifestation of this is CMNF (Clothed Male, Naked Female), involving one or more females in the presence of several or many clothed men.

(There is a corresponding CFNM. Some quick Googling actually produces more “mainstream” examples of CFNM).

For quite a while I was a regular visitor to a website that offered a free and open exchange of photos and videos of this kind of activity. That site became a pay site about a year ago and recent attempts to access the front page now return a blank Index page. Clearly many of the pictures were posed, but some were genuine examples and it was obvious that there was considerable embarrassment, humiliation and shame, as well as arousal and eroticism for the girls involved. This kind of activity is much too “out there” for most of America, and virtually all of the examples I have seen appear to be in England, France or Scandinavian countries. I wouldn’t be surprised to find this kind of activity going on at college campuses, fraternities and so on, but not much elsewhere, certainly not as openly as it seems to be in Europe.

I have participated in small examples of this, such as Super Bowl parties with lifestyle friends where one or more submissives acted as servers to the assembled party guests. I have also attended dinner parties where wife of the host was naked, and acting quite normally but obviously compelled by her Master.

I always love the way Wikipedia describes perversions; so, CMNF is a term for a paraphilia (look that one up sometime) involving one or more nude women and one or more clothed men. It is generally used as a label for pictorial erotica or pornography, or a sexual fantasy depicting such a scenario; however, CMNF gatherings of men and women interested in this type of erotic pursuit do occur as well. CMNF is also a type of sexual objectification of women by men.

The general category of "CMNF" is fairly broad, encompassing several different types of scenario. The most common subdivisions of the genre involve either an activity under the rubric of male domination, exhibitionism or entertainment; combination of all categories is somewhat rare, although several web sites cater to the subgenres separately. See also Erotic humiliation.

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These Are a Few of My Favorite Things

I came across a list of favorites at the Thinking Dominant Blog, suggesting you define your favorite activities in the context of what you like best in a D/s relationship. I found that type of information might well energize a discussion going with others, as we are often asked what we like or don't like. Thanks for providing a handy reference.

Addedum: The Thinking Dominant Blog has been incorporated into the Iron Gate website and the article is gone.