September 20, 2013

Knock Knock - Flash Fiction Friday

Knocking several times and not getting any response, she leaned in close to the door and said,“Sir? Hello?” and still there was no response.

Against her better judgment, and her training, she balled up her fist and pounded on the door three times. Still there was no response, so she leaned in close again. Aiming her voice at the crack between the door jamb and door, and in a much louder voice, she said, “Sir? Are you there? Please answer!” She was alarmed how loudly her voice echoed in the courtyard and looked around embarrassed.

Leaning her ear against the door she listened for any sound inside the house. Finally she heard the sound of footsteps inside and spoke again, “Sir? Are you there?”

“Yes, I’m here, who is this?”

“It’s me Sir, Sally. I’ve come to get my forgotten shoes.”

Now she could hear his voice right at the door, but there was no sound of him unlatching or attempting to unlock and open the door.

“Sir, can you please open the door?”

“Hang on, I’ll go and get your shoes for you.”

“Sir, may I please come in, it’s not just my shoes that I’ve left behind.”



Word Max = 200, Word Min = 200, Bonus Words - None, Key Phrase - None - - Just tell a story

13 comments:

  1. I love the simplicity and the implications of this. You've told a great story without really telling us a story. Great take!

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  2. My mind wanders, why would she have forgotten her shoes and her panties....

    Did he do something, was it her first time....

    I also love the simplicity.

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  3. Yes, it leaves you wondering. Great story!

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  4. Nobody does this better than you Sir!

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  5. Welcome back to FFF!

    I wonder what she finds behind the door...

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  6. don't you hate it when you remember what you forgot just as you hear the latch click shut? I also appreciate the mental distance that comes from saying good bye after a particularly intense moment. I once had a going away party with about 20 friends, i was leaving for a long time. Tears were shed, hugs extended, a kiss shared, and then my plans changed and they all just looked at me and said, "What are you still doing here?"

    This captured that moment entirely too well. Does her knock start a new moment or mangle the first? We may never know... But great storytelling

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  7. And yes, it's good to have you back.

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  8. This made me smile, wondering what would happen next...great story x

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  9. Made me giggle; wonderful little tale ;)

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  10. You said a lot with so few words... wow! It amazes me how you hint at their relationship, their kink, their hot day, their minds and what may come next! Deep...so well done. Great take!

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  11. I could feel her anxiety and desperation for his attention. I got the impression that she left her shoes there on purpose as an excuse to see him again. Her pain stems from the possibly he is simply done with her for now

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