Showing posts with label Humiliation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humiliation. Show all posts

September 3, 2012

Beginning

Holding her hands in mine, arms outstretched, I backed through the archway into the living room. She walked forward, following my progress toward the large overstuffed chair.

I sat down in the chair and positioned her on the ottoman facing me; and placed her hands on her knees. She sat calmly, seemingly comfortable with her nakedness.

I pulled her list from my shirt pocket and read it over. Then I read it out loud, watching her reactions.

I handed her the list, “Read the two immediate goals out loud.”

She did.

“Okay, let’s begin. Tell me about the first goal.”

April 6, 2012

Noticing

"Yes." she said.

I let go of her chin, resumed circling around her, examining; bothering her attention, noticing. I noted the smooth soles of her feet, her high arches.

I grabbed a handful of hair, holding her head back, noticing her face. She stared up, half smiling, three quarters fearful. I let go her hair and her head flopped back down.

I moved around to her side, noticing the curves of her uplifted breasts, perky nipples.

Circling further, I noticed how her thighs were parted, opened, glimpsing the glistening darkness of her pubes, full and fluffy.

Was she really ready?

February 16, 2012

Sit

“Gather yourself up.”

She collected her things and we walked out. She slid into the passenger’s seat and as I drove off, she just sat quietly.

When we got to my house, I took her wrist and walked her in. She handed me her purse and stood nervously in the middle of the room.

“Stand right there.”

I went and adjusted the heat, poured myself a glass of wine and returned to her.

I lifted her top off over her head, then pulled off her shorts and panties. Finally, I removed her sandals. She stood there, wonderfully naked.

“Sit down.”




January 29, 2012

Agnes's Birthday - Dinner

Continued from here

The maitre d' looked down at his list and then back at Frederick and said, “Party of three?” Frederick said, “Yes, but only two of us are here now. We can be seated, we don’t need to wait.”

“Very good sir, right this way please.”

The assistant smiled as they stepped forward to be led to their table. Frederick smiled back, reaching out and handing the girl the bouquet of rose buds, “Could you please put these in a vase and have them brought to the table? Thank you.” She smiled and nodded.

Frederick put his hand in the small of Agnes’s back and ushered her forward to follow his lead. He led them through the front dining area toward a set of of doors that opened to the back room. Frederick noticed the attention that their passage was drawing, and knew that Agnes was the cause of the stirring. In her little black dress she was very alluring, catching the attention of both the men and the women as she passed by, enjoying the way her body moved. There was a natural flow to the dress, it clung at her hips and accented the shape of her bottom. The hem of the skirt flipped up to the back of each thigh alternately as she took each step and her hair swung in cadence with her arms.

Passing through the doors to the back dining area, they were in a room of surprisingly large size, filled with a half dozen extravagant overstuffed booths along one wall. On the right were heavily carved oak tables with various seating arrangements for parties of four or six. In between was what served as a dance floor and at the far end was a small step up stage cloaked by heavy curtains. Back to the far right was the sitting area with couches and tables, the area where Frederick had brought Agnes on their first evening out.

They were led to a table in the right side of the room; a table for four, but set for just three. The maitre d' held the menus in his hand and gestured with the other, indicating, ‘here is your table’. A server was standing at the far side of the table pouring glasses of water and next to him was the sommelier attending to a bucket filled with ice and a bottle of Riesling with it’s characteristically long thin neck.

Agnes moved to sit down but Frederick put a hand on her arm. She looked back at him and he shook his head and said softly, “Not just yet, hold on.” The server finished setting the table and walked off after exchanging nods with Frederick. The sommelier uncorked the bottle, poured a sampling into one of the wine glasses and offered it to Frederick. Frederick took the glass, swirled the liquid around, sniffed the bouquet and took a small taste. “Superb! Thank you very much.” Frederick sat the glass down, the sommelier poured a second glass, and finished filling Frederick’s glass, and placed the two glasses on the table. Frederick thanked him. He put the bottle back into the bucket and withdrew.

Just then the girl arrived with the bouquet of roses and placed them in the middle of the table. Frederick walked around behind Agnes and pulled out a chair for her, she sat down and he pushed it in. He walked around the table, moving the vase to the back edge of the table out of the middle and proceeded to seat himself, but before he sat down he picked up his wine glass, lifted it in a toast.

“Happy Birthday sweet girl. I hope you have an enjoyable evening and that it is a fitting celebration for you.”

Agnes picked up her glass, lifted it up toward Frederick, took a small drink and said, “Thank you very much Frederick. I am sure it will be, I am looking forward to the night.”

With that Frederick sat down himself and smiled across the table at Agnes. Looking around he could see that the booths were filling up and there was developing a strong background murmur of conversations across the room. He had noticed that they had captured the attention of several parties as they’d proceeded into the room and were escorted to their table.

“Why is there a third setting?”

“Someone will be joining us for dinner. He is a special friend of mine and I wanted him to help us celebrate your birthday.”

A waitress arrived with a basket containing a variety of breads, two shallow dishes and a rack holding olive oil and vinegar bottles. She poured a medium size pool of olive oil onto each dish then poured balsamic into the olive oil. Frederick noticed Agnes’s curious look and said, “Break off some bread and dip it into the mix.”

They sat and quietly drank wine and ate bread, with no conversation, listening to the background music. Just as the waiter stopped by to refresh their wine glasses another man approached Frederick and greeted him. “Good evening Frederick.”

Frederick stood and shook the man’s hand. “Good evening Patrick, I am so glad you were able to join us.”

Frederick pointed to the third wine glass, and the waiter poured a glass of wine for Patrick and ushered him to his seat.

Frederick introduced him to Agnes. “Patrick, this is Agnes, a very special friend of mine and our birthday girl. Agnes, this is Patrick, he is the owner of this restaurant.”

Agnes offered her hand and Patrick kissed it. “Happy Birthday Agnes, I am so pleased that you have chosen to celebrate your birthday here. I hope you have an enjoyable evening, one you will not forget.”

“It is an interesting and exciting place. I have been here once before with Frederick. In fact it was the first place he took me out to, and I confess it was an eye-opener.”

“What did you discover here Agnes?”

Well, sir, it was a place like I’ve never been to before. Before coming to Paris, I was just a country girl and had never ventured far from my hometown, a small town to the south. Since moving here and meeting Frederick I have seen many things that I didn’t know existed and seen things I never knew people did.”

Patrick gave her a knowing smile but simply said, “I am glad you enjoy yourself here.”

At that Patrick turned to Frederick and began discussing menu selections. Noting that Frederick had selected a very nice Riesling, he suggested a couple of fish dishes that he thought they would enjoy. Frederick asked if they had any particularly nice pasta dishes that he would recommend and Patrick mentioned a spaghetti with squash blossoms and an eggplant dish but wondered if they was substantial or festive enough for the occasion.

Patrick turned to Agnes and said, “So, since you are the birthday girl, do you have anything in particular that you would like to have for dinner?”

Agnes smiled back at him, looked at Frederick for a moment, and then back at Patrick and said, sheepishly but with conviction, “That is something that is up to Frederick, he has told me that he will be making all the decisions about the celebration of my birthday. I am a little apprehensive but so far so good, and I do trust his judgment.”

Patrick looked back at Frederick and gave him a wry smile, and said, “So, it would seem that you are the man of the hour. Knowing you as I do, I’m not surprised by this. What strikes your fancy this evening Frederick?”

Frederick returned the smile and said, “Let me have one last glance through the menu and see what I might have missed. In the meantime I think another bottle of wine would tide us over until the food starts to arrive.”

At that Patrick gestured to the waitress. She was there immediately and took the wine order. Shortly the wine steward arrived and uncorked a second bottle which he placed in the ice bucket after topping off everyones glasses.

Frederick put down the menu and turned to Patrick, “There are so many wonderful choices I am having a hard time selecting just one or two. What would be perfect for us would be a platter of your chefs favorite offerings of pastas and vegetable dishes. Something we could all share and experience a nice variety.”

“An excellent idea Frederick. Excuse me for a minute while I go to the kitchen and make some arrangements.” Patrick got up from the table and headed back toward the kitchen.


After he was gone Agnes agreed, what a wonderful idea that was because she herself had been having trouble selecting just one dish from several she was curious about. Frederick agreed and allowed as how Patrick surely had a very good idea what would be best although he’d not wanted to impose his ideas on them without allowing them their own choices.

The table fell into quiet as they all listened to the music of the quartet on stage, munched on bread and cheese, and just relaxed. Suddenly Frederick turned back to Agnes and said, “Please, sit up straight in your chair.”

In response Agnes adjusted and stiffened her posture in her seat, with a quizzical look on her face. She was clearly taken by surprise at Frederick’s command. She sat up straight, placed her napkin on the table and put her arms on the arms of the chair, feet flat on the floor. There was a small smile on her face that seemed to speak of self pride at complying perfectly with the instruction while waiting for his purpose to reveal itself.

Just then Patrick returned, beaming, and took his seat. He told them that he had taken the liberty of suggesting a couple dishes that would take a bit longer but would be well worth the wait. Frederick and Agnes both nodded their acceptance of his decisions and offered Patrick a small toast of thanks.

“Did I miss anything?” asked Patrick, noticing the overly formal way in which Agnes was sitting in her chair.

Agnes said, “Oh, no. We’ve just been listening to the lovely music and enjoying the bread and wine.”

Frederick added, “That is right, but I am glad you are back. I was just starting something with Agnes.”

Patrick raised an eyebrow, “Oh?”

And simultaneously, Agnes said, “Oh.”

Frederick gave Patrick a conspiratorial smile and turned his attention back to Agnes.


“Are your feet flat on the floor? Put your hands on the table, fingers interlaced.”

Frederick glanced down under the table and saw her toes, even with each other, a few inches apart.

“Cross one leg over the other, nice and snug.”

Agnes shifted slightly in her seat, looking at Patrick, and then staring at Frederick, but did not move.

“Cross your legs Agnes.”

“But Frederick,” glancing again at Patrick and at the room around them.

In a deeper, more stern voice Frederick said simply, “Agnes,” and glared at her.

For a couple of long quiet minutes, neither moved nor spoke. Then, reluctantly, she shifted around, and complied.

“Good girl. Now, start rocking your upper foot.”

She sat perfectly still except for the slight torquing of her torso as she rocked her upper leg, flexing at the knee. Her pace was steady, just as Frederick had taught her. She stared down at the place setting in front of her, concentrating.

Frederick snapped his fingers and Agnes looked up, “Look at me Agnes.”

Frederick could see the rocking leg was beginning to have its effect on her, looking at her face; he could see her eyes were beginning to glaze over. She continued on as he instructed. Agnes would let her gaze drift away but each time she did Frederick rapped a knuckle on the table top and she looked back up at him. Soon her breathing was becoming more and more ragged and her whole body was tensing.

Noticing her reactions, Frederick said, “Okay Agnes, slow down now.”

“Please, no, Frederick.”

“Agnes, slow down, come back from the edge.”

She slowed the pace of her rocking leg and took several deep breaths.

“Okay Agnes. I want you to stop for now, we can finish this later.”

Frederick had a slight smile on his face, but Agnes was clearly frustrated and disappointed.


Just then, three servers arrived with two large oval serving trays containing several steaming platters and placed them on collapsible serving stands on the unoccupied side of the table. They were each given a main plate and two side plates off to the right side. One of the waiters refreshed the oil and vinegar on their bread plates, while another picked up old napkins and provided fresh linen.

Patrick turned and smiled at the servers and then to the waiter and said, “Serve the lady a goodly portion from that platter,” pointing to the largest on the serving tray, “and then surprise us all with your best suggestions for our first course.”

He then placed his hand on both Frederick’s and Agnes’s wrists and shook them slightly, “Bon appetite! My friends.”

September 14, 2011

Blithely Sauntering

The Consensual Stalker

He had known it was her habit to spend Friday mornings on a number of errands, generally wrapping a half days worth of activities into one outing. There was the early morning or noon-time yoga class, or a nice quiet coffee shoppe with excellent java and free wifi, or occasionally, just wandering the streets shopping, mostly for clothing, retail therapy she called it. Today was early yoga, and then coffee and a muffin, and now, she was slowly sauntered down the street, peeking in store windows, almost dreamy looking. She had a bounce to her step, occasionally moving to the beat of the music from her ever-present clip-on iPod Shuffle, he imagined.

She half concentrated on the stores but was periodically preoccupied with her phone, either texting or tweeting, but not talking. At times she’d stop and lean against a store front, rapt attention on the small screen, and suddenly burst out laughing, and then look around, self conscious. She wondered if people were looking at her, hoping they might be, and that they might be wondering what she found so laughable.

The day had started when he followed her from her home, across town, and out to the yoga parlor. After she parked and went inside, he went to the cafe across the street, found a window table and had a light breakfast and coffee. Then he leaned back, listened to his book, and waited. As she left the yoga class, he noticed she had changed into the lovely shape hugging, lightweight pink sheath dress, perfect for pulling off and on while shopping. He hoped so, he was looking forward to the idea of a day of watching her pop in and out of stores, knowing how dearly she loved her shopping excursions. He smiled in anticipation of a joyful day of observation, perhaps some embarrassment, a little humiliation and pleasure, certainly a bit of sexuality and excitement.

He watched her come across the street, walk into the cafe, and order coffee and a giant chocolate muffin. She went and sat at a table in the back seating area, waiting for the server to deliver her heated muffin.

He was positioned where he could see her reflection in the window while he appeared to be looking out onto the street. She pulled out her little laptop computer and busied herself with the Internet. The muffin arrived and she divided her time between eating and something on the computer. She busied herself with typing and he wondered if she was writing another story for her blog, she seemed more engaged than simple email or messaging.

After eating her muffin, and drinking a second cup of coffee, she packed her things, got up and headed out to the parking area beside the yoga parlor and got into her car. He got up, walked out after her, climbing into his large black sedan parked at the curb. He started the engine and waited to follow her when she pulled out. As she pulled out, he made a wide U-turn and settled in behind her, heading back toward the downtown shopping area. She looked in her rear view mirror periodically but of course wouldn’t recognize his car, having only seen it the once before, long ago. And that was only a slight image in her rear view mirror at the building supply store.

He followed her back into the downtown area where she pulled into a parking garage. He drove past the parking structure entrance to the end of the block and made another U-turn. He found a parking space beside the parking garage she had pulled into. He remained in the car as she walked out of the garage and headed toward the boulevard shops. After she passed by he got out of the car, crossed the street and took position in the doorway to an office building. From there he watched her as she slowly sauntered down the street, glancing in store windows. When she was half way down the block he opened his Blackberry and sent a text message, “How are you today? Out shopping?”

She replied, “Yes, just started. Went to yoga, then breakfast. Now I’m shopping, you?”

“Yes, I am out today too, enjoying the scenery.”

Reflexively she looked around but in the dark shadows of the doorway, looking through two panes of storefront glass it was unlikely she’d see him.

He sent back a text, “Enjoy your shopping. Buy yourself something nice. Hugs.”

He received her response, “Thanks. Hugs back.”

She put her phone back into her purse and resumed looking at shop windows. He stepped out of the shadows and walked down the sidewalk to the next corner. He leaned against the light pole and watched her as she went from store to store. From time to time she would do a little shuffle dance step or two, clearly enjoying her music. She had always preferred the little Shuffle in lieu of the MP3 player built into her phone, ‘it is so small and cute and easy, the phone is so bulky.’


He decided to give this some more time. He walked further down the street and went into the fountain shop. He got an iced tea, selecting a seat at one of the small window side tables. Sometimes she would pause and look over all the items on display, at other stores she would just slow slightly and glance at the window as she passed by. However, at every clothing store she would thoroughly examine the windows offerings and usually head inside.

After nearly an hour had passed, he pulled out his Blackberry again and composed a text. “Still out shopping? Did you buy anything interesting?”

“Yes still shopping but haven’t found anything I want yet.”

“What did you decide to wear today?”

“Sweat suit earlier, for yoga. Warmer now, changed to a dress, simple sheath, easy to pull off or up in a dressing room.”

“What else?”

“Simple strap sandals.”

“Yes? What else?”

There was a long pause and then, no response. He smiled to himself, imagining, wondering if she was busy with something and not able to reply immediately, or if, more likely, she was reluctant to respond any further. As he sat there looking at the screen, waiting for a response, his attention was captured by movement across the street. He looked up and saw her coming out of the dress shop, phone in her hand, looking around.

Grinning, he typed again, “What else!”

She stared at the phone, looked left and then right, and then back at the phone, and tapped a reply, “panties”.

Even from a distance across the street he could see that she had not worn a bra, but asked anyway, “Panties and a bra?”

Again, she was reluctant to respond, but eventually said, “no, just panties, no bra.”

“Which panties?”

“The white gauzy boy shorts.”

He felt a tingle in his palms from the tactile memory of those white gauze boy shorts, his fingers flexed involuntarily.

“Mmm, my favorite, very nice.”

Again, she looked around. Clearly it seemed that she sensed from his text messages that he might be around, nearby. He was sure that she would not be able to see him through the tinted window of the fountain. As she stood there looking up and down the street he texted back, “Enjoy your shopping, I am sure you are drawing some very appreciative attention.”

Her curt response came back, “No. I’m not.”

“Well, I need to be on my way. Have a good afternoon sweetheart.”

Again, a short, matter of fact reply, “Okay, good bye. I am nearly done and will be heading home.”

“Bye bye.”


She dropped the phone down into her bag and headed down the street and disappeared into another shop.

He got up, refilled his glass and returned to his seat. It was a bright sunny day with a slight breeze and temperatures probably in the low 80’s, a perfect day to sit with a rich sweet tea and watch the world passing by. There was a lot of activity, a lot of shoppers and window shoppers out this morning. Everyone as dressed for a warm fall day, surely glad that the oppressive heat of summer was passing and autumn was on the way.

He looked at the time and was beginning to wonder if he had lost track of her. Perhaps she had left or moved on while he was refilling his tea, or when he’d gone to the restroom. He was considering sending another text message when suddenly she emerged from the original store with a heavily loaded shopping bag. She was headed back toward the parking garage. It seemed that her shopping adventure had borne fruit and was over. He dropped a tip on the table and stepped out onto the street. He followed her along on a parallel route from the opposite side of the street.

When she turned into the parking garage, he dodged between traffic and ran across the street. He did not want to lose track of her in the dark maze of stairs, parking levels and myriad cars. When he entered the structure she was just turning around the corner of the staircase to the second level. He entered the stairwell and followed.

As he got to the second floor landing he heard her above him opening the door to the third level. He paused a moment and then ran up the final flight of stairs. He twisted the door knob slowly, silently and opened it just slightly but could not see her, or anyone. He stuck his head out through the door and looked to the left, deeper into the structure and saw her walking down the aisle toward a bank of cars on the right side of the drive. He stepped out, crossed the driveway and proceeded along the bank of cars and saw her turn in beside her own. He was about a dozen cars away and needed to catch up before she got in.

From one car away, across a vacant parking stall, he saw that she was fumbling with her hand bag, the shopping bag and her keys unlocking the backseat door. As she put her bags into the back seat and slide the door closed he stepped up behind her.

He took hold of her upper left arm and grabbed the back of her neck, pushing her hard up against the side of the car. Leaning in close he spoke into her ear, “Be still” but she continued to struggle against his grip. Looking closer, he let go her left arm, pressed her against the car with his body and reached up and pulled the ear-bud out if her ear and repeated, “Be still.” She seemed to recognize his voice and calmed down, relaxing the fight-or-flight tension in her arms and legs and torso.

Continuing to hold tightly onto the back of her neck he reached around and pulled the ear-bud from her right ear as well. He ran his free hand along the side of her hip and upper thigh and felt the memory. He moved his hand down further and grabbed the material of the dress and struggled to pull it up.

After he got the hem of her dress up around her waist, he let go the material and moved his hand up to her breast. He cupped his hand up under her left breast and felt her warm softness contrasted by the stiff hardening of her nipple. Rolling it back and forth with his thumb and the side of his finger brought a soft murmur and groan, and even greater stiffness. He pinched down harder and twisted, and felt her body tense, and wilt slightly. He loved the warm feel of her body squirming against his.

He let go her nipple and took hold of her left wrist. He guided her hand down across her front, across her stomach and pushed it inside the elastic of her panties, then deeper down. He leaned in close to her ear and whispered, “Touch.”

He felt her hand moving, “Just touch, no rubbing. Curl your middle finger down and under.”

Still holding her wrist, he felt her fingers move. He deepened his voice even further, “Press with your finger, wiggle slightly, up and down. No friction. A very subtle movement.”

He could feel the tension in her stomach as she worked her finger slowly up and down. She was groaning and shifting and rocking in a thrusting motion.

Deep into her ear he said, “Restrain yourself, slow and easy.”

But she continued working her fingers, pushing her skin back and stroking lightly back and forth. She began spasmed repeatedly, like she was receiving little electrical shocks. Suddenly she was grunting and folding over at the waist, jerking and quivering.

He let go her neck and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her back against his body tightly and they both shook with her spasms. Eventually her breathing slowed and her tension relaxed.

He opened the door and nearly poured her into the drivers seat. She collapsed into the seat and leaned her head back against the head rest, eyes closed, seemingly ready to drop off to sleep.

He rolled the window down and closed the door, then leaned in through the opening. A slight smile spread across her face. He reached in and wrapped his hand around the back of her neck, pulled her head forward and gave her a long, deep kiss. Their tongues touched, teased each other and then he withdrew.

He ran his fingers through her hair and whispered, “Have a good afternoon sweet girl,” and turned and walked toward the stairwell.

March 25, 2011

Humble Pie

Humiliation vs Humility

Given a circumstance in which you need to humble yourself; you can have two reactions, ego based denial, or self revealing acceptance.

Apologize for inconveniencing another/others, taking responsibility and having that conversation with the offended party. You often fear that they will think less of you, not trust or value you as they did before you screwed up, and that can cause you to avoid, or excuse, or deflect, or deny; or, you can stand up and say, yes I did it. Thank them for the opportunity to set it right and demonstrate you have learned a lesson; which will raise your value and integrity in their eyes immensely, and within yourself as well.

January 28, 2011

Boudoir - Friday Flash Fiction

(Photo source unknown)
Surprise
He called home to see if she’d arrived. “I got here a few minutes ago. I’ve decanted the bottle of Malbec you had me pick up. Now I’m sorting the mail.”

“Go to the bedroom, get undressed. I'll be arriving in five minutes.”

“Oh, Yes Sir!”

When he walked in he noticed the scattered stacks of mail. He laughed, evidence of her zeal to comply, what a good girl.

Anxious to savor her beauty, he hurried down the hallway, opening the bedroom door. She was kneeling on the bed in just her panties, bra tossed aside, with the sheet held protectively over her breasts. Her child-like modesty was so charming.

He smiled at her, then turned and opened the closet door, “Look who I’ve invited for your birthday.”



Click for details on FFF
(Your challenge for this Friday is to use the photo above to write a flash fiction of
93-129 words, incorporating, the required phrase, "...held protectively...")

July 3, 2009

Friday Fiction: Meal: Mango and Sticky Rice

Friday Fiction: Meal - - Write a brief bit of fiction involving a meal.








I would love to feed it to you, by hand, my hand; not yours, not permitted.
  1. Four portions for each mango slice, first bite the end off, chewed thirteen times, swallow.
  2. Then turned, and bite the other end off, chewed thirteen times again, and swallow, show me your mouth is clean.
  3. Break the remaining center in half and place one piece in your mouth, behind your lower teeth, chew and swallow.
  4. Use my fingers to mash/squish the final piece and let you take it off my fingers with your lips, and then clean the juice off my fingers, chew and swallow.
  5. Repeat 1. through 4. for a second slice.
  6. Pour a sip of water into the palm of my hand for you to drink.
  7. Use my fingers to wipe the corners of your mouth and across your lips.
  8. Then I scoop up a nice sized bite of sticky rice between my fingers and thumb, placing it in your mouth, wiping my fingers clean on your lower lip.
  9. Then a smaller bite of rice, on two fingers, placed behind your lower teeth, and your lips clean my fingers.
  10. Repeat 1. through 9. until full, or . . .
Inspiration compliments of The One-Minute Writer

April 26, 2009

Public Play/Exposure

In my most recent story line post, Getting out of Town, I was challenged by a reader about the public nature of a scene or scenario I described. I was very happy to receive the challenge, the question:
I truly don't have a problem with the bondage in the car, but I draw the line at exposing myself in public, or any displays of a blatantly sexual nature such as inserting a bullet.
Can you explain how you determine what's healthy for the sub, as well as what you deem is acceptable for public viewing, and in the presence of whom?

"I suspect I draw the line very near where you do. You can imagine that not a lot is exposed pulling a pair of panties up over her legs, lifting her bottom slightly off the seat, and sliding them up under her dress. She is sitting down in the seat and the man is knelt down beside her."

"The simple and slight action of slipping a small vibrator down inside her panties is completely obscured by the car, the tinted windows, her hands, her clothing and such. I did not conceive of it as a blatantly sexual act, but rather a clandestine, private moment."

"Do I think it has potential for embarrassment or humiliation? I most certainly do, and counted on it for the energy between them, for the embarrassed excitement she would feel from it, and for him."


This has stuck in my mind and I have been thinking about public play. Not the kind of public play you encounter at a dungeon or BDSM play party, but the kind of interaction between people, that takes place out there in the world. There is a subtle, or not so subtle, intimacy between two people that can be enhanced by the potential for exposure, or discovery, or observation. A kind of play or interaction that is not blatantly obvious to others, but places the submissive in a situation where they are being treated in a very private way in a very public venue.

I recall a story of a girl who was being so obstinate, and so unwilling to disconnect from her upset about an event, that she could not be in the moment with her owner. He was wanting her to let go of the matter, set it aside, and to enjoy a lovely evening out on the town. Even though she knew she was acting that way, she chose to continue. She eventually earned herself a spanking, and it was administered then and there, on the sidewalk, in a mixed residential/restaurant neighborhood, and was observed by, others. At least one person actually was standing on their front porch, watching her get a fairly sound spanking, and I recall distinctly her humiliation and embarrassment that this would be carried out in front of "ordinary people". (I tried to go back and find the exact details, but I think my memory serves well enough).

Many months ago I wrote about an actual event, Hand Controls, where a girl exposed her breasts in a casino, in front of many people, controlled by a man near by. One comment suggested that it was inappropriate. I confess I certainly enjoyed the sight of that beautiful young Asian girl, but I would not conduct myself in that manner in real life. I have a high regard for public decency, and am quite conservative regarding what I would allow to be viewed in public.

But, these examples raise the question, Where are the boundaries? Certainly, there is excitement, arousal, titillation, pleasure, fun, any number of feelings and emotions to be explored by adding an element of casual observation by uninvolved onlookers. There is embarrassment, humility, Humiliation, and excitement that grows from that public exposure. But there is also risk of ridicule, censure, perhaps even arrest for indecent behavior in public.

There is a great opportunity for enhancing the experience of dominance and submission by taking it outside, into the public arena, or on the edge of the public arena. There are any number of small, or large, but still a subtlety of control/action a dominant can require of a girl in a semi-public way, but somewhere there is a line that can be crossed where you go beyond public decency, but where is that line? Who decides?

June 20, 2008

Humiliation, the good, the bad, the ugly

We’d had this conversation a while ago, but I had forgotten, and I asked:

“Would you think about something for me?”
“Of course.”
“We can talk about it tomorrow.”
“OK.”
“Humiliation, is it good or bad? Not a politically or kink correct answer, but a gut feel. In the sense of ‘I was totally humiliated.’ your attitude about it, not feelings.”
“I think this is a hard question for me to understand, given the limitations, but I'll try and make sense out of it.”
“Okay, then forget the limitations, I did not mean it to be limiting, just the whole range of those things call humiliation; you are right, that is better and a more fair question.”
"'I was totally humiliated' - I'll think about what that statement brings up for me... is that what you mean, more or less?"
"Yes that is what I mean, not to your submission particularly, just as a person."
"Yes, OK."

And the next day:

"I thought about humiliation."
"Oh yes?"
"I should email, I think."
"Okay, I would love to have your feelings on it."

And then the email:

I think you've made a case that humiliating and humbling are the same. I can't say I see it that way.

If I say humiliated, I mean embarrassed and brought down to a point below ones true worth. Where humbled, I see as settling to one's proper place.

Humiliation is an experience of shame.

Does this answer?

Yes, it did, so, there is one perspective on the matter of Humiliation and Humbling/Humility, and on the other hand:

"it was humiliating. But i didn't resist . . . moving my body into a rhythm . . . i felt aroused by the stimulation, and aroused by the humiliation. i felt my little place so acutely... it felt so right that i should be in this space of humility; . . . it felt right that we all acknowledged that it was part of my place to have lower status and higher humility."


A third perspective is:

I feel that some humiliation is necessary to reduce me to that deep submissive state I long to be in. Humiliation, as in wearing a collar or leash, submitting to an inspection, being made to crawl, etc., helps to put my mind into the "powerless" state and allows me to "feel" the authority that my Dom/Dad/Master has over me. I do not, however, much enjoy the more extreme forms of humiliation such as being urinated on......that, to me, is overkill.


So, these three have differing opinions, perhaps a Dominant has it figured out:

Humiliation. "The word itself can cause even hard-core players to recoil. In the BDSM community, where consensual, well-intentioned humiliation games are commonly practiced, players routinely disavow participation. I myself would vehemently declare that if a Sub wanted humiliation, then find another, I simply was not into that. Why would I want to dominate someone I didn't respect?
That was how I saw humiliation. Disrespectful. Degrading. Debasing. Insulting. As abuse, pure and simple. The idea of what I perceived as emotional cruelty. The idea of verbally harming my Submissives nauseated me."

So, then perhaps we turn to the dictionaries and definitions, to get some clarity, to find the essential relationship between Humiliation and Humility.

Definitions of Humiliation:

  • state of disgrace or loss of self-respect
  • chagrin: strong feelings of embarrassment
  • an instance in which you are caused to lose your prestige or self-respect; "he had to undergo one humiliation after another"
  • depriving one of self-esteem
    wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn
Humiliation is bad . . .

Definitions of humility:

  • a disposition to be humble; a lack of false pride; "not everyone regards humility as a virtue"
  • a humble feeling; "he was filled with humility at the sight of the Pope"
    wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn
Humility is good, being humble . . .

From Wikipedia: Humiliation is the abasement of pride; mortification. The state of being humbled or reduced to lowliness or submission. It is thus the process of being made humble. It can be brought about through bullying, intimidation, physical or mental mistreatment or trickery and embarrassment.

Humiliation is being humble, humility, which is good . . .


No wonder everyone is confused and afraid.


So, perhaps it is all just semantics, which I would agree with, an unimportant distinction, except I think there are many submissives that miss out on opportunities for growth, arousal, bonding and excitement, a chance to truly move forward because they are afraid of being humiliated and embarrassed, demeaned?

They are afraid of being embarrassed and brought down to a point below ones true worth.

They do not find humiliation as settling to one's proper place.

Clearly humiliation is used for a variety of reasons.

There are those dominants that use humiliation to totally debase a submissive, tear her down, belittle her, strip her of any self esteem or self respect to build her back up "his way".

Others use humiliation to overcome excess pride, to make their submissive more humble, to create a sense of self worth in their submission, subordinate to the dominant, respectful.

There does not seem to be a hard and fast result from humiliation, let alone a common perception of what it really constitutes.

May 4, 2008

Experiencing her submissiveness

Marie had noticed men who looked at her "that way", who recognized the way she responds to their gaze, transfixed. These are not just horny men looking at a pretty girl; they knew something about her she barely knew herself, they were those men.

She had come to recognize her submissive nature, but still was conflicted at times because that feeling and desire in her is so vastly different from how she acts in her day to day life.

We talked for a long time about her feelings, and the unsettled feeling she had about what had happened, not that she was traumatized by being forced but how the sex of it had felt, and how she felt about the sex. She talked about wanting to have those feelings again, how she wanted to please men, to feel them in her like that. But she didn't know anyone she could have that kind of a relationship with, and how it was so outside of her “real life”.

However, there were men, there was Brad who operates a custom upholstery shop, Tony who runs the T-Shirt shop, and the man at the gas station/snack shop - - all of them were men she noticed looking at her “that way”. After a time, I suggested that if she wanted to pursue this that Brad seemed the best choice from everything she had said about them.

She developed a sexual submissive relationship with Brad over the next several months. She would stop and spend an hour or two with him, once or twice a week, and he led her deeper and deeper into her submission. One of her favorite things was being leaned over the back of a low couch, and having her wrists attached to restraints positioned down between the back cushion and seat. In this position she could barely move, was nearly impossible to see behind herself and was totally vulnerable. At first he blindfolded her, but eventually simply forbid her to look back, to keep her face buried between the cushions.

One day we were discussing her feelings about all of this and she commented on how erotic it was, amazed at his staying power, being able to engage her 4 and 5 and 6 times - - I expressed skepticism. She swore it was in fact what was happening. I began to ask more probing questions and suggested to her that it would be an amazing, if not super, man who could perform that way. To make a long story short, the next time she was there, she forced herself to look back and it was not Brad, but Tony. This was a total violation of her trust. She freed herself and left. She stopped in and spoke to him a couple times, expressing her outrage, but that was it. Bravo for her – clearly a violation of the trust and nature of their relationship.

Over the next year, she had fleeting relationships with others, young men closer to her own age, but they did not treat her the way she had become accustomed to with Brad. After long periods of consternation and discussions, she told me she was going to start seeing Brad again. She went and had a long discussion with him about how he has violated her trust in the past. They started up again and she enjoyed the time she spent with him. He is the only dominant man she has been able to establish that connection with.

Lately she had been talking about what happened with the two of them having her. She talked about how she missed that feeling and how she wanted it again. She decided that if she knew, in advance, and agreed to what was happening it would be okay.


Last week, she did again. She said, "But it is really a little scary, how it makes me feel." I didn't understand and asked what she meant? She said, "I just really like how it makes me feel. Not just how it feels, but how i feel letting them. Just being there to let them, because it feels so good. But it does scare me that I like how I feel. You don’t hear how my friends talk about other girls they think are sluts, but I am a total slut."

March 25, 2008

girl/girl

A great many girls had some of their earliest sexual experiences at slumber parties and other all-girl gatherings, playing games such as Truth or Dare, or some variation of these adolescent sensual socialization games. I suspect that a lot of girls first discover their sense of submissiveness (or domme-ness) through these kissing and party games that girls play late into the night.

I have read about girls who recall themselves in those games, "always wanting to be the girl/bottom" or "how embarrassed I was having all the other girls watching me" or "they made me rub between my legs until I felt like I needed to pee", many other expressions of how they felt being exposed, or involved, or placed in an embarrassing or aroused situation. I don't think these early teen or even preteen experiences necessarily lead to, or foster, either lesbian or bisexual orientations in girls, but I think there are many, many girls who get their first taste of their submissive nature during one of these slumber party games, or afternoon parties. Their first taste of sensuality comes at the hand of their friends who are equally naive, or are more brave/brazen (domme?), and they learn how it feels to do someone else's bidding, to perform in a way that pleases someone else.

Many girls have their first experiences of masturbation, or mutual masturbation or even girl on girl sexual activity "forced on them" in one of these group activities. These games go by many names:

Truth or Dare
Truth, Dare or Torture (Australian); with torture being simply for more embarrassing dares.
Lies or Play it Safe
Truth Dare, Double Dare, Promise or Repeat
Truth, Dare, Situation, Stare (India)
Tell or Torture

For the submissive girls, they were strangely attracted to these new and forbidden/taboo sensations, they felt the attraction of the entire thing, the involvement of other girls, they liked being watched, watching, they were so excited about the whole thing, often privately, because they were too embarrassed or shy to make any overt moves. They are left to wonder, how do I fulfill these feelings.