tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6931377820241721982.post6921506328453520859..comments2023-04-12T04:11:40.082-07:00Comments on A View from the Top: Not looking for this DaddyDavidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04943867226010869367noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6931377820241721982.post-45347387011753755392008-05-05T17:39:00.000-07:002008-05-05T17:39:00.000-07:00is not that i disagree with the ultimate assessmen...is not that i disagree with the ultimate assessment of joy's agenda. <BR/><BR/>my questions were merely to emphasize that we didn't just fall into submission. who knows if joy is or will be a submissive - exploration is the beginning of the learning process.ellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00378095821780259218noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6931377820241721982.post-8813086102604968692008-05-04T09:50:00.000-07:002008-05-04T09:50:00.000-07:00Persephone,I believe you are right, I poorly worde...Persephone,<BR/><BR/>I believe you are right, I poorly worded my response. It is about my needs too, but I also realize that my needs are primarily met through my submission to Him. I trust Him to know and meet my needs. I do not usually tailor my actions or impose limits or requests based on my needs, He determines and meets my needs without that. <BR/><BR/>That said, our relationship would have never progressed to this point, if my needs were not being met. At some point it became all about Him, but that was a process.Alicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03027350217120088046noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6931377820241721982.post-68813318193082813052008-05-04T08:17:00.000-07:002008-05-04T08:17:00.000-07:00i would differ with alice and say that submission ...i would differ with alice and say that submission *is* about what the submissive needs. i mean, ideally we hit the point in a relationship where we don't need to worry about our needs being met because our dominant is doing that for us, and we trust him to continue doing so. but early on, it's necessary for us to be sure that our needs are being met. it's necessary for our needs to be met in an ongoing way.<BR/><BR/>but i do agree with alice in that submission cannot be about what the submissive *wants.* needs and wants are different... i mean, i often *want* lots of things. i want to hang out with my owners every night, i want to sleep over, i don't want a spanking, i don't want to wear my hair up. they don't generally give me what i want. but they know that i *need* rules, understanding, respect, and a reliable presence from them. and those things they always give.<BR/><BR/>i agree that the definition of submission is subjective and ultimately every relationship agrees upon its own parameters. (to answer elle's question, i think the person who sits in judgment of whether or not a person is submissive is that submissive person's dominant.) but i too noticed that joy was being pretty specific-- dare i say dominant?-- as she laid out the requirements that she had for a relationship.<BR/><BR/>personally i think of being a 'little girl' in this context as slightly different than being a submissive. i know that when my owners are focusing on my little girl side, they will often give me more leeway for my behavior. i can whine and stomp my feet and be a little bit willful, and they tolerate that. on days where they don't want to see my little girl side, i'd be crazy to try those things. when they are treating me like a little girl, often they take care of *me* more than i serve them. and it looked like joy was looking for that as well. not to serve as a submissive, but to have the green light to behave like a little girl-- to be in a relationship where she can be willful and immature, and where her partner in that relationship "serves" her by giving her structure and spankings. i feel like i've seen lots of relationships where the person who identifies as submissive is really the one who is being 'served' by the dominant rather than the other way around, and i think the little girl dynamic lends itself to that. so maybe joy's request wasn't so far off, even if it wasn't right for david and his needs.<BR/><BR/>i'm not generalizing about all daddy/little girl relationships, of course. my comments are based on my own experience in a relationship where sometimes i am allowed to take on that little girl role... in my particular relationship, i notice a BIG difference between the little girl times and the obedient pet times.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6931377820241721982.post-18808651078803291852008-05-04T08:08:00.000-07:002008-05-04T08:08:00.000-07:00Alice isn't wrong. Speaking as a young woman myse...Alice isn't wrong. Speaking as a young woman myself, I have to admit that the submissive life holds appeal for me. But, I fear I'd still be in the dabbling phase. I like being controled in the bedroom, I like submitting, but when I read around to people who are true submissives...well I don't think I am ready for that.<BR/><BR/>Good for both of you that you realized this wasn't going to be a productive relationship for either of you. Good luck to Joy though and of course you!Naughty Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13401994111306001019noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6931377820241721982.post-38106902349271095962008-05-04T05:46:00.000-07:002008-05-04T05:46:00.000-07:00elle,No, there is not a test and yes she is young....elle,<BR/>No, there is not a test and yes she is young. Even a year ago, I did not know the depth of submission that I craved. But being submissive and being a spankophile are not necessarily the same. Submission requires a level of commitment. I believe it is centered more on the aspect of serving and giving of yourself, and less on what you need. <BR/><BR/>My submission does meet my needs, but my desires and commitment are directed at what I can offer Him, not on what He can give me. This was a process, it did not occur overnight, but the connection was there from the start. I think that joy is looking to satisfy her own needs and desires, not serve someone else. Eventually, she may shift her focus. Right now, she is just exploring.<BR/><BR/>I do not want to get ionto a discussion of "true" submissiveness vs being a bottom. The depth of one's submissision is different for each person and varies in each relationship. But when the focus is on what you want and need, I do not think that is submission.<BR/>J.Alicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03027350217120088046noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6931377820241721982.post-60663556380433279862008-05-04T03:24:00.000-07:002008-05-04T03:24:00.000-07:00i agree alice's statement that playing at submissi...i agree alice's statement that playing at submissiveness and truly submitting are two very different things.<BR/><BR/>however, joy is very young and there has been a starting point for each of us. were we playing then or were we learning? moreover, who decides if you are or you are not truly a submissive? is there a test to be taken? <I>*i must have missed class that day.*</I> who sits in judgment? depending on the persons involved, i think the gift of submission is highly subjective.<BR/><BR/>Lastly, your quote “I cannot imagine having an attractive “young little-girl daughter” running around in nothing but a t-shirt, who I lay across my lap bare bottomed and spank each night at bedtime, and not have any sexual response”. (I am sure there are those who could conduct that kind of a spanking discipline on a regular basis, but frankly I am not that kind of a sadist but God bless them that can.)<BR/><BR/>sadist? I think masochist might be the correct term here. LOL ;)<BR/><BR/>hugs, elleellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00378095821780259218noreply@blogger.com